Why is Listening Important to Children and Adults?

Listening to children enables them to
• put forward their thoughts and feelings.
• develop positive self concept
• enhance children’s competence and self confidence
• help children to accept other’s point of view
• help children to develop trust in adults.
• develop and sharpen their skills in negotiation and communication.
• establish healthy relationship with adults and peers.





Listening to children
• helps adults to empathise with children
• helps them in understanding children’s unique thoughts, feelings, hopes, fears and joy
• helps create child-focused culture.

Why Adults Do Not Listen to Children?

Adults generally do not listen to children because…

• Listening is not a regular practice; even adult - adult listening is not very common.


• Listening is not considered important as much as speaking skills. For example, there are awards for speaking skills but there are hardly any awards for listening skills.


• Listening is hard to do. It is more than hearing sounds.


• Listening means thinking about the things you hear and requires time and the attitude.


• Speaking allows us to control and direct where as listening puts us at the receiving end.


• Adults feel that only experience can teach and hence they have nothing to learn from children as children lack experience.

Listening is a part of the Child’s Right to Participation

Listening is a part of the Child’s Right to Participation that is one of the four groups of child rights covered by the UN-CRC1 announced in 1989.

We need to remember that, ‘listening to children’ is not only important, it is their right to be heard.

Can we work/interact with anybody if we are not ready to listen to them? People generally prefer to talk more and listen less. However, when we talk, we do expect others to listen, so why don’t we listen to others when they want to say something to us? Listening to children is emphasized more because we, the adults, are in authoritarian position and so we feel tempted to tell children what to do rather than listen to them.

In the fast moving world, parents do not find enough time to spend with their children. Hence, parents’ interactions with children are more often related to either school i.e. homework, exams, tuitions, materials that

have to be taken to the school or personal Listen to Childrenroutines i.e. eat this, wear this, get up, time

to go to school and similar things.

Some favorite words of children are –
Why? How? What? and Why not?
which demonstrate their innate curiosity and keen interest to understand relationships and behaviour.

Some favourite words of adults are –
Don’t, No, Stop, Keep quiet, Don’t argue etc.,
which signify that they are the authority and know what is best for children.

Take a Moment to Listen

Take a moment to listen

Take a moment to listen
To what your children are trying to say;
Listen today, whatever you do
Or they wont’ be there to listen to you.
Listen to their problems. Listen for their needs,
Praise their smallest triumphs, praise their smallest deeds;
Tolerate their chatter, amplify their laughter.
Find out what’s the matter; find out what they’re after.
But tell them that you love them, every single night;
And though you scold them, be sure you hold them;
Tell them “Everything’s all right; tomorrow’s looking bright.”
Take a moment to listen today.
To what your children are trying to say;
Listen today, whatever you do.
And they will come back to listen to you!!